| Heres some stuff I didnt know about Chuck Norris
CHUCK NORRIS
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
-Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
-CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
-Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
-Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
-A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
-Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
-Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
-There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
-A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
-Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
-Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
-It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
-Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
-Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
-Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
www.CHUCKNORRISFACTS.com
|
